Those flashing lights come from everywhere

Something about the rededication to improving the body is leaving me quite dull.

I feel so good. Waking or lying about, walking, running - I can feel the ease coming back and I feel amazing, as if my lungs worked, that my heart were strong, that I might see myself again. But it is all I can think of, all I can manage to dwell on - the reforging, here, the liquid relief of shedding my days in sweat - the only drawback comes when I sit and try to think, or to listen, im so jumbled, so unfocused.

Am a fair listener when it strikes me, but my mind is wandering - my days are lasting forever, I sleep like an old cat, I'm happier, after a fashion, but it is difficult to express and the huge anxiety of failing to write remains; sitting at the Cantab last night, reduced to just reading things I had manage before and wondering how it happens.

Am stuck on this song



as have been for ages - though this a stranger version of.

She called back. Who knows what happens now.