I want to take you far from the cynics in this town and kiss you on the mouth

I am a proponent for the idea that you are not more than you want and that what you want, your body will tell you. Mothers, I think, know some of this - how it is in carrying about young that needs will come clear; cravings, in the vernacular, a bubbling urge for some...thing...that the mind does not exactly know itself.

I'm supposed to love Bloody Marys, I am told.

The carriage shifts, thoughtless, to our desires - how the hips turn, the shoulders dip or crane to show. I cannot imagine how fool I look when you sit down next to, all marionette and fidgeting in your impossible hereness - the waking mind does not tell me where to shift my feet, it doesn't straighten my back and slouch me mounting in my chair; blinking as you go into the peculiar way this wall has me leaning to it, as if starting upon a stranger's couch too early in some morning.

And I dream. The presumptions of my deep mind are that you are mostly how you have acted around me - my dreams rarely enact changes in people, we are mostly who I know us to be. But you are in places unexpected, wearing things that make little afternoon sense and you say things I am thinking, not things you are thinking. This nightyou, who sits calmly with me in a long dark, who stretches and liquids through my sleep.

What I know I keep.

2010 Olympic Winter Games Opening Ceremony

Textcast from the Precinct Bar, Union Square, Somerville, MA

Olympic ceremony....Mexico! Population: 110 million! Athletes:....1.

Even the ugly girls on the New Zealand olympic team are hot. They are winning the fly-lympics so far.

Its great fun, Bryan Williams (it must be noted that I was drinking and managed to merge Brian Williams the Canadian reporter and Bryan Adams the singer into one person) is now leading a collection of Native Canadians in some sort of rollicking sing a long. New Zealand handily won the She's-Fly-Lympics and I'm drinking at Precinct with some buddies, how you?

What sort of reasons? Is it gaudily clad olympic athlete withdrawal? I think I can help.

There is some legit Lord of the Rings shit going on in the opening ceremonies.

we are entering the 'giant glowing bear' stage of the evening. I am predicting the wizard from earlier is going to tame it, or befriend it, whatever a Canadian would do. Perhaps tax it heavily but give it great benefits.

In more upbeat news the stadoum (ahh, drink) is overrun with what must be called spirit penguin.

aand spirit orca...big ones...in the snow. This is intense.

The stadium has sprouted totem-trees, which seem to have summoned Sarah Maclachlan...likely here to save the spirit penguins.

this ceremony is pretty awesome, probably moreso because I am at a bar with a reggae band playing and cant hear the actual music. They had a giant holographic/magic orca swimming through the place a bit ago..and there was a wizard...some sort of snow wizard.

hunter moon motif....with violin-playing cloud viking. Not making this up. Viking. Cloud canoe.

possibly playing the local favorite Devil went up to Calgary if the horns are any indication.

He just lost the helmet and has a mohawk, now there is a lady fiddler, the stadium is now constructed of holographic mapleleafs..oh, this is the cape breton poriton of the night, at least I understand now.

all much weirder with the slow, bedframe breaking reggae beat.

the viking is very metal, even while step dancing. I couldnt make this up. Not even me.

all the dancers have set their heels on fire and are hard shoeing, there is a lot of orange lightning annnnd they actually went to commercial.

Canadian petern pan stands in a field of wheat, space-walking the hologram....i'll assume this is Saskatchewan...aannnd he's flying...

The canadian peter pan, for the record, wears a lot of denim.

we have spirit horses...and upon closer inspection of his earring, C.P.P. miiight dig dudes. Whoa, storm mountain rave scene!

the canadian creation myth appears to center largely around glow sticks and flying boys.

flying boys with snowboards.

We're at a lull...still just flying boys and snowboards around a giant montage filled mountain.

we have roller-blades. has Charles given any indication why he isn't speaking? Did you tell him about the spirit orca?

the roller-blading folk might be a Tron tie-in, there is a lot of body light going on here.

now the univerce is centered by a kalaidoscope pillar of energy and there is a reasonably fat man with a neckbeard and a beret talking on top of it.

He has gathered a throng of white suited native canadians to him and apears, if the holograph montage is any indicator, to be telling them about Toronto.

"Stay afloat, the key is hope, I'll never let a motherfucker break me, dawg"

It's been busy, lately, and I have.

I can't bring myself to cut my hair. We are approaching, as though at sea, seeing it only through stars and charts, a year.

I think I will let it grow until then and then I will make a decision.

I no longer question that he loved me, just feel this sadness occasional bundling that he never managed to tell me.